I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.

Quote by Jack Nicholson

Topics: Jack Nicholson Quotes

It's a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways...

It's a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways...

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue...

Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue...

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what...

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what...

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.

Acting is everybody's favorite second job.

Acting is everybody's favorite second job.

I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look...

I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look...

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability...

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability...

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out...

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out...

Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I...

Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I...

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an...

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an...

Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I...

Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I...

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing...

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing...

What's beautiful is all that counts, pal. That's ALL that counts.

What's beautiful is all that counts, pal. That's ALL that counts.

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And...

Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And...

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in...

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in...

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.