Quotes by Ralphie May

My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said...

#Ralphie May

So, are we like best friends now that youve seen whats in my freezer?

#Ralphie May

Jesus was a pothead Long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter. Do the math, it all adds...

#Ralphie May

I may have cut it a little close, but youll have heard that already by...

#Ralphie May

Man, Ive got forty pounds of underwear!

#Ralphie May

Im still trying to decide if hes a punk-ass bitch, or a bitch-ass punk.

#Ralphie May

I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles? its called Los Angeles.

#Ralphie May

Wanna give a shout-out to the Fry Guy, got much love fo the Fry Guy?...

#Ralphie May

Man, I havent liked you since you froze Han Solo.

#Ralphie May