Quotes about Ralphie May

I have a lot of pride in the fact that I don't do a lot...

#Ralphie May

My neighborhood is so bad. This is how we have to order at the drive-thru...

#Ralphie May

If you can take a dick in the ass, you can DAMN sure take a...

#Ralphie May

I was sweating like R. Kelly at the Kids Choice Awards.

#Ralphie May

Last Comic Standing was a great opportunity and it was a great learning experience. Even...

#Ralphie May

I loved Celebrity Fit Club. Celebrity Fit Club had a lot of heart especially if...

#Ralphie May

My wife is also a standup comic, so it's something for me that's awesome. She's...

#Ralphie May

I hate comics that try to change the world. That's not my job. That's for...

#Ralphie May

Gams, stems, wheels... whatever.

#Ralphie May

My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said...

#Ralphie May

So, are we like best friends now that youve seen whats in my freezer?

#Ralphie May

Jesus was a pothead Long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter. Do the math, it all adds...

#Ralphie May