Quotes by Jeff Ross

Jerry Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight. He had a prior engagement to fuck a model...

#Jeff Ross

Folks, Jerry Stiller has the face of a star and that star is Lassie!

#Jeff Ross

You ever had your heart broken, Larry? What was his name?

#Jeff Ross

You know you're white bread, Carson, right? You shit croutons.

#Jeff Ross

Carson, you look like Dick Clark and Eddie Munster had a baby.

#Jeff Ross

What can you really say about Carson Daly that hasn't already been said about that...

#Jeff Ross

Charlie Sheen is to stand up comedy to what Larry Flynt is to standing up.

#Jeff Ross