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Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified...

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified...

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if...

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if...

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of...

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of...

An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court.

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money...

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money...

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is...

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is...

There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the...

There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the...

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the...

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the...