Women gain weight after marriage. Men gain weight after divorce.

Topics: Divorce Quotes, Marriage Quotes

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives...

I doubt if there is one married person on earth who can be objective about...

I doubt if there is one married person on earth who can be objective about...

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

I don't think you need a pre-nup. If you have to plan your divorce before...

I don't think you need a pre-nup. If you have to plan your divorce before...

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other...

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other...

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce...

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce...

Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work.

Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work.

Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than...

Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than...

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced...

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced...

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

The divorced person is like a man with a black patch over one eye: He...

The divorced person is like a man with a black patch over one eye: He...

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

A divorcee is a women who got married so she didn't have to work, but...

A divorcee is a women who got married so she didn't have to work, but...

Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes...

Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes...

Marriage is one long conversation, checkered by disputes.

Marriage is one long conversation, checkered by disputes.