The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
Quote by Ambrose Bierce
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving...
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it...
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for...
OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment. By the kind of intelligence that sees in...
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever...
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored...
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar...
Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life.
Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace...
Forever on Thanksgiving Day. The heart will find the pathway home.