The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Civil War-when I really think about them they all seem about as likely as the parting of the Red Sea.

Quote by Sarah Vowell

Topics: Sarah Vowell Quotes

Most people don't like to talk about violent historical death.

Most people don't like to talk about violent historical death.

Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, Robert Lincoln bought a nice ski lodge.

Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, Robert Lincoln bought a nice ski lodge.

In death, you get upgraded into a saint no matter how much people hated you...

In death, you get upgraded into a saint no matter how much people hated you...

I'm a big fan of editing and keeping only the interesting bits in.

I'm a big fan of editing and keeping only the interesting bits in.

I seem to have no problem revealing my crush on the man who murdered Lincoln.

I seem to have no problem revealing my crush on the man who murdered Lincoln.

My audience is going to die before I do.

My audience is going to die before I do.

I didn't come from any kind of academic background, but I lived in a college...

I didn't come from any kind of academic background, but I lived in a college...

What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.

What are you hiding? No one ever asks that.

I hated the lost colony; in second grade, we were doing American History, and they...

I hated the lost colony; in second grade, we were doing American History, and they...

One night last summer, all the killers in my head assembled on a stage in...

One night last summer, all the killers in my head assembled on a stage in...

Not that I want the current president killed. I will, for the record and for...

Not that I want the current president killed. I will, for the record and for...

I loved that these two guys argued with each other as if movies actually mattered....

I loved that these two guys argued with each other as if movies actually mattered....

I get younger people who watch Conan or The Daily Show, but before that it...

I get younger people who watch Conan or The Daily Show, but before that it...

Relics are treasured as something close to the divine.

Relics are treasured as something close to the divine.

Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then...

Like Lincoln, I would like to believe the ballot is stronger than the bullet. Then...

We go in to liberate Cuba, but Cuba still isn't free; we don't really think...

We go in to liberate Cuba, but Cuba still isn't free; we don't really think...

I was a big Nancy Drew reader. Nancy figures it out. Case closed.

I was a big Nancy Drew reader. Nancy figures it out. Case closed.

Part of the success of This American Life, I think, is due to the fact...

Part of the success of This American Life, I think, is due to the fact...

History is full of really good stories. That's the main reason I got into this...

History is full of really good stories. That's the main reason I got into this...

While I gave up God a long time ago, I never shook the habit of...

While I gave up God a long time ago, I never shook the habit of...