Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering…

Quote by Tom Armstrong

Topics: Christmas Quotes, Funny Quotes

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open...

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open...

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish...

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish...

May the miracle of Christmas fill your heart with warmth and love. Christmas is the...

May the miracle of Christmas fill your heart with warmth and love. Christmas is the...

May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your...

May the Christmas season fill your home with joy, your heart with love and your...

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in...

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in...

Which Christmas is the most vivid to me? It's always the next Christmas.

Which Christmas is the most vivid to me? It's always the next Christmas.

May the peace and blessings of Christmas be yours; And may the coming year be...

May the peace and blessings of Christmas be yours; And may the coming year be...

Time was with most of us, when Christmas Day, encircling all our limited world like...

Time was with most of us, when Christmas Day, encircling all our limited world like...

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ

I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant...

I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant...

Time always seems long to the child who is waiting - for Christmas, for next...

Time always seems long to the child who is waiting - for Christmas, for next...

Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. I'm not saying this to...

Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. I'm not saying this to...

Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon...

Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon...

Remember, this December, that love weighs more than gold.

Remember, this December, that love weighs more than gold.

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year...

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year...

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your...

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your...

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs...

From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs...

Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.

Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.