If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

Quote by James Thurber

Topics: Animals Quotes, Belief Quotes

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those...

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those...

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy, and dead.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

Speed is scarcely the noblest virtue of graphic composition, but it has its curious rewards....

Speed is scarcely the noblest virtue of graphic composition, but it has its curious rewards....

My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or...

My opposition to Interviews lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or...

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

The animals that depend on instinct have an inherent knowledge of the laws of economics...

The animals that depend on instinct have an inherent knowledge of the laws of economics...

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound,...

The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound,...

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there...

I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there...

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

There is nothing wrong with change...if it is in the right direction.

There is nothing wrong with change...if it is in the right direction.