Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Quote by Ambrose Bierce
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad,...
Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
A cat is a soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things...
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack...
Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
Scriptures: the sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane...
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly...
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Perfection is an imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known...
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered...
Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy
Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products of democracy, as they undoubtedly are...
Ostentation is the signal flag of hypocrisy
Politeness is what warmth is to wax