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My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There...

My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There...

I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at...

I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at...

It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on...

It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on...

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain,...

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain,...

I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's...

I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's...

If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting...

If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting...

When the first big paycheque with 'Dumb And Dumber' hit, I went: 'Gosh, I wonder...

When the first big paycheque with 'Dumb And Dumber' hit, I went: 'Gosh, I wonder...

I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I'm just trying...

I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I'm just trying...

My report card always said, 'Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students'.

My report card always said, 'Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students'.

I'm the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In...

I'm the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In...

We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was...

We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was...

I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible...

I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible...

For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That...

For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That...

I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to...

I don't think human beings learn anything without desperation. Desperation is a necessary ingredient to...

My family kinda hit the skids. We were experiencing poverty at that point. We all...

My family kinda hit the skids. We were experiencing poverty at that point. We all...

Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't...

Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't...

That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my...

That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my...

You know what the trouble about real life is? Theres no danger music.

You know what the trouble about real life is? Theres no danger music.

Leaving your blinker on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.

Leaving your blinker on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.

My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.

My car only heats up enough about 30 seconds before I reach my destination.