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Related Quotes

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into...

I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into...

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never...

I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never...

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in...

It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in...

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's...

I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's...

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really...

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really...

People for the most part can smell lies.

People for the most part can smell lies.

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people...

When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people...

People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.

People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to...

Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to...

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money...

I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money...

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human....

After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human....

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a...

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a...

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like...

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like...

Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.

Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into...

I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into...

Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to...

Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to...

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends,...

If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends,...

Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests....

Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests....