A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'
Quote by Lewis Black
A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and...
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
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In the information age, you don't teach philosophy as they did after feudalism. You perform...
Get the right people on the bus and in the right seat.
Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he...
Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
They say God has existed from the beginning of time and will exist beyond the...
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
It is probable that there is no one thing that it is of eminent importance...
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
I dread no more the first white in my hair, Or even age itself, the...
Anyone else feel kinda weird when your computer asks you if you would like to...
I've been in more laps than a napkin.
Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to...
Love is all you need.