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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

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Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those...

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I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those...

It's called flirting when you are in a relationship but it is called being friendly...

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It's called flirting when you are in a relationship but it is called being friendly...

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

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I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be...

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be...

Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

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Valentine's Day is coming up ? Oh Crap!- I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

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If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

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It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that...

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

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Lead me not into temptation.. oh hell who am I kidding.. Follow me I know...

The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I...

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If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was pretty, I...

I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

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I'm trying to be a sensitive father, you unwanted moron

You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

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You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say "Get...

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How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

When I was little "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever

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When I was little

Love is like war; easy to begin but very hard to stop.

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Love is like war; easy to begin but very hard to stop.