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It's called flirting when you are in a relationship but it is called being friendly...

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It's called flirting when you are in a relationship but it is called being friendly...

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

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Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those...

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I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those...

I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

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I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I...

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have...

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Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have...

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

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The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

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If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

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And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could...

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

If he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC

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If he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC

Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say "Get...

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How do you ask a girl out? Simple. You open the door and say

The day I stop loving you is the day Lady Gaga decides to wear normal...

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The day I stop loving you is the day Lady Gaga decides to wear normal...

Relationships nowadays = 1 male 1 female 1 hoe 1 ex trying to mess it...

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Relationships nowadays = 1 male 1 female 1 hoe 1 ex trying to mess it...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

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If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget...

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget...

Smile you look so much better when you smile

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Smile you look so much better when you smile

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics...

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I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics...