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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

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My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping...

I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those...

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I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those...

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

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Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

It's called flirting when you are in a relationship but it is called being friendly...

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It's called flirting when you are in a relationship but it is called being friendly...

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

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It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

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Tits is a word you can't say on television. That's such a friendly word. It's...

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl you’ve already dated: breast implants.

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

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Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

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Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

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Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.

On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

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On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11...

When nothing goes right.... go left.

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When nothing goes right.... go left.

When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

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When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying...

The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

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The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

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Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody needs a little cancer I think. It's...

Trust the one who can see Sorrow behind your smile Love behind your anger Reason...

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Trust the one who can see Sorrow behind your smile Love behind your anger Reason...

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics...

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I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics...