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We grow gray in our spirit long before we grow gray in our hair

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We grow gray in our spirit long before we grow gray in our hair

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

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New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...

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OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out...

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Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out...

If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

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If the guy's a cutie you've got to tap that booty.

A good man can feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world... oh...

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A good man can feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world... oh...

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

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If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by...

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a...

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Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a...

Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

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The more you do, the more mistakes you'll make

Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

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Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor

Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to...

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Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to...

Work like you don't need the money Love like you've never been hurt Dance like...

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Work like you don't need the money Love like you've never been hurt Dance like...