Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.

Quote by Dick Van Dyke

Topics: Humor Quotes

Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was...

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was...

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show...

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show...

I loved to fall down.

I loved to fall down.

No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put...

No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put...

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.

I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.

I never made a good movie.

I never made a good movie.

You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.

You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.

Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and...

Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and...

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to...

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise...

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're...

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're...

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of...

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of...

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old...

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old...

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was...

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was...

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and...

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and...