My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

Quote by Weird Al Yankovic

Topics: Weird Al Yankovic Quotes

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light....

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light....

Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.

Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World...

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World...

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I love Rocky Road.

I love Rocky Road.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse,...

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse,...

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but...

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but...

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use...

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use...

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing,...

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing,...

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend...

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend...

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising...

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising...