I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Quote by David Lee Roth

Topics: Funny Quotes

Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.

Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.

You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw...

You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw...

A lot of rock bands are truly a legend in their own minds.

A lot of rock bands are truly a legend in their own minds.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at...

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at...

Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make.

Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot.

The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an...

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an...

It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, but it sure gets different!

It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, but it sure gets different!

People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the...

People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the...

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to...

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to...

No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

Money is the string with which a sardonic destiny directs the motions of its puppets.

Money is the string with which a sardonic destiny directs the motions of its puppets.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

If you real desire is to be good, there is no need to wait for...

If you real desire is to be good, there is no need to wait for...

For the majority of instances where money is desired for the admitted object of blessing...

For the majority of instances where money is desired for the admitted object of blessing...

If all the rich men in the world divided up their money amongst themselves, there...

If all the rich men in the world divided up their money amongst themselves, there...