Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

I used to be good at sports. Then I realized that I could buy trophies....

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men...

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Better late than never, but never late is better.

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...