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Remember if people talk behind your back, it only means you're two steps ahead!

#Fannie Flagg

If you don't go to other men funerals they won't go to yours

#Funerals

You couldn't make the crowd throw up their hands if they swallowed their fingers.

#Hip Hop

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.

#Education, #Enthusiasm, #Gifts

I don't think that capitalism should be unbridled, if by unbridled you mean unregulated.

#Chris Patten

Parents have to understand: if your kid isn't you, don't blame the kid.

#Parents

If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: I'm cheap!

#Delta Burke

Do not expect the world to look bright, if you habitually wear gray-brown glasses.

#Charles William Eliot

I'm a legend in this sport. If you don't believe me, ask me.

#Bobby Heenan

If you and I aren't meant to be, then I don't know anything.

#Dawsons Creek

If you and I aren't meant to be, then I don't know anything.

#Dawsons Creek

If you improve or tinker with something long enough, eventually it will break or malfunction.

#Arthur Bloch