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A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience...

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience...

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough...

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough...

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because...

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because...

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which...

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which...

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is...

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is...

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a...

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a...

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both...

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both...

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity...

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity...

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the...

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the...

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.