I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

Quote by Rita Rudner

Topics: Funny Quotes, Running Quotes

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when...

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when...

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one...

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one...

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but...

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time...

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a...

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want...

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've...

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've...

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're...

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're...

Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to...

Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to...

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite:...

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite:...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child....

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child....

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get...

For the majority of instances where money is desired for the admitted object of blessing...

For the majority of instances where money is desired for the admitted object of blessing...

Television is the literature of the illiterate, the culture of the low-brow, the wealth of...

Television is the literature of the illiterate, the culture of the low-brow, the wealth of...

Wealth is conspicuous, but poverty hides

Wealth is conspicuous, but poverty hides