Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

Quote by Garry Trudeau

Topics: Funny Quotes, Graduation Quotes

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises...

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises...

In any event, it's not exactly a secret to regular readers what my views on...

In any event, it's not exactly a secret to regular readers what my views on...

Lives have been altered in fundamental ways, and later, after they acquire a more complete...

Lives have been altered in fundamental ways, and later, after they acquire a more complete...

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up...

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up...

I don't think so, but it's always in the back of my mind that many...

I don't think so, but it's always in the back of my mind that many...

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the...

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the...

Good-humor makes all things tolerable

Good-humor makes all things tolerable

Wise men are not wise at all hours, and will speak five times from their...

Wise men are not wise at all hours, and will speak five times from their...

I fought a killer and didnt even smudge my makeup.

I fought a killer and didnt even smudge my makeup.

Don't wish me happiness - I don't expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that,...

Don't wish me happiness - I don't expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that,...

I heard you're good in algebra, can you replace my 'X' without asking 'Y?'

I heard you're good in algebra, can you replace my 'X' without asking 'Y?'

One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of...

One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of...

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the...

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the...

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is...

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is...

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really...

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really...

Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness...

Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness...

Rock Hudson wasn't my type. He's a great guy and had a great sense of...

Rock Hudson wasn't my type. He's a great guy and had a great sense of...

There are few doors through which liberality, joined with good humor, cannot find its way.

There are few doors through which liberality, joined with good humor, cannot find its way.

To all the students who drop out and failed high school: Remember two things; 1)...

To all the students who drop out and failed high school: Remember two things; 1)...