There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

Quote by Finley Peter Dunne

Topics: Finley Peter Dunne Quotes

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if...

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if...

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money...

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money...

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is...

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is...

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the...

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the...

There are no friends at cards or world politics.

There are no friends at cards or world politics.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is...

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is...

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified...

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified...

An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show it's contempt for another court.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards

Trust everybody, but cut the cards

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read...

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read...

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

Happy Leap Day! Anyone else hear 2pac is coming back today?

Happy Leap Day! Anyone else hear 2pac is coming back today?

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for...

You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow...

You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow...