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Declarations of love amuse me. Especially when unrequited.

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Declarations of love amuse me. Especially when unrequited.

Usually I'm remarkably good natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in "y".

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Usually I'm remarkably good natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in

People aren't born good or bad. Maybe they're born with tendencies either way, but its...

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People aren't born good or bad. Maybe they're born with tendencies either way, but its...

It's all right to love someone who doesn't love you back, as long as they're...

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It's all right to love someone who doesn't love you back, as long as they're...

Don't touch any of my weapons without my permission." "Well, there goes my plan for...

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Don't touch any of my weapons without my permission.

I am a man" he told her, "and men do not consume pink beverages. Get...

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I am a man

Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind...

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Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind...

There is no pretending," Jace said with absolute clarity. "I love you, and I will...

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There is no pretending,

I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass.

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I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass.

"Can I help you with something?" Clary turned instant traitor against her gender. "Those girls...

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“You said you were going for a walk!? What kind of walk takes six hours?"...

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“You said you were going for a walk!? What kind of walk takes six hours?

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

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The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

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If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my...

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

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As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

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Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree; Your ornaments are history.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then...

I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm...

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I might be in love with you.