Okay, you just look really official. And you know if I ask you if you're a cop, and you are cop, you have to say yes. -Heidi

Quote by Due Date

Topics: Due Date Quotes

Yeah, there's plenty of him still in here. Darryl, he made three cups of coffee,...

Yeah, there's plenty of him still in here. Darryl, he made three cups of coffee,...

Ethan, I know you made it up. It's your fucking stage name. Why did you...

Ethan, I know you made it up. It's your fucking stage name. Why did you...

Why? Because, it's a picture of yourself. Anyone can take a picture in a beautiful...

Why? Because, it's a picture of yourself. Anyone can take a picture in a beautiful...

Sorry. I'm a deep sleeper, it's a condition. You know when they say; 'I think...

Sorry. I'm a deep sleeper, it's a condition. You know when they say; 'I think...

Oh, that's me. I'm just masturbating. Well, if you keep interrupting me it will take...

Oh, that's me. I'm just masturbating. Well, if you keep interrupting me it will take...

Okay guys, we need to get out there. Really need to get going. Paul what...

Okay guys, we need to get out there. Really need to get going. Paul what...

You better change yourself before you wreck yourself. -Ethan Tremblay

You better change yourself before you wreck yourself. -Ethan Tremblay

Let me give you a little bit of friendly advice, nobody who calls themselves Hollywood...

Let me give you a little bit of friendly advice, nobody who calls themselves Hollywood...

You Americano's sneak into our country, bring drugs, party. You sleep with our women. -Federali...

You Americano's sneak into our country, bring drugs, party. You sleep with our women. -Federali...

You know, I just wanna offer an explanation, sir, as to why you wound up...

You know, I just wanna offer an explanation, sir, as to why you wound up...

No, no, no, no! His dad is the coffee. He passed away and his remains...

No, no, no, no! His dad is the coffee. He passed away and his remains...

Fine. But in the future when we're hanging out as buddies, if we get into...

Fine. But in the future when we're hanging out as buddies, if we get into...

Have you ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? He ran across the U.S. and he...

Have you ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? He ran across the U.S. and he...

Nothin' he loved more than jazz music and womens titties. -Ethan Tremblay

Nothin' he loved more than jazz music and womens titties. -Ethan Tremblay

Let me talk to her. Do you have a hairdresser out west? I just go...

Let me talk to her. Do you have a hairdresser out west? I just go...

You were like a fucking commando! You were a comanche warrior. -Peter Highman

You were like a fucking commando! You were a comanche warrior. -Peter Highman

Dad, you were like a father to me.

Dad, you were like a father to me.

I kept some. I kept a little bit of it and put it in my...

I kept some. I kept a little bit of it and put it in my...

What are you, my fucking boss? You make the hours here? I say we close,...

What are you, my fucking boss? You make the hours here? I say we close,...

What about the dog? Does he have glycoma? Cause his eyes are glassy as fuck....

What about the dog? Does he have glycoma? Cause his eyes are glassy as fuck....