FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears. The savage dies --they sacrifice a horse To bear…

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Money Quotes

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

Religion: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Religion: A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Laughter is an interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate...

Laughter is an interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate...

TROGLODYTE, n. Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the...

TROGLODYTE, n. Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the...

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is...

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is...

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes...

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes...

TOMB, n. The House of Indifference. Tombs are now by common consent invested with a...

TOMB, n. The House of Indifference. Tombs are now by common consent invested with a...

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend...

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend...

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and...

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and...

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against...

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against...

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.