Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Funny Quotes, Internet Quotes, Television Quotes

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting,...

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting,...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that...

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a...

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why?...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two...

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the...

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the...

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is...

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is...

Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace...

Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace...