Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Ambrose Bierce Quotes

ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all...

ABDOMEN, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all...

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you...

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you...

Marriage is the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress...

Marriage is the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress...

Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells...

JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells...

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as...

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as...

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon...

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon...

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but...

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but...

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of...

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of...

IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having...

IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having...

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend...

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend...

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the...

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the...

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack...

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack...

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth...

Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study

Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do...

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do...