I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Quote by Bette Davis

Topics: Funny Quotes

It is my last wish to be burried sitting up.

It is my last wish to be burried sitting up.

A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense...

A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense...

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.

Gay Liberation? I ain't against it, it's just that there's nothing in it for me.

Gay Liberation? I ain't against it, it's just that there's nothing in it for me.

If you want a thing done well, get a couple of old broads to do...

If you want a thing done well, get a couple of old broads to do...

I will never be below the title.

I will never be below the title.

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.

I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.

I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them -...

I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them -...

I wouldn't worry too much about your heart. You can always put that award where...

I wouldn't worry too much about your heart. You can always put that award where...

To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given...

To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given...

I sent my flowers across the hall to Mrs Nixon but her husband remembered what...

I sent my flowers across the hall to Mrs Nixon but her husband remembered what...

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of...

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of...

I survived because I was tougher than anybody else.

I survived because I was tougher than anybody else.

Everybody has a heart. Except some people.

Everybody has a heart. Except some people.

Life is a jest; and all things show it. I thought so once; but now...

Life is a jest; and all things show it. I thought so once; but now...

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign...

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign...

The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down...

The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down...

This has always been a motto of mine: Attempt the impossible in order to improve...

This has always been a motto of mine: Attempt the impossible in order to improve...

Strong women only marry weak men.

Strong women only marry weak men.

I don't think of myself as a character actress - that's become a phrase which...

I don't think of myself as a character actress - that's become a phrase which...