The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have made it to last longer, but you can't have everything.

Quote by Neil Simon

Topics: Funny Quotes, God Quotes

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic...

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic...

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best...

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best...

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you....

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you....

I felt like writing about a time when I was probably, and I think all...

I felt like writing about a time when I was probably, and I think all...

The ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of...

The ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of...

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't...

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't...

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that,...

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that,...

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he...

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he...

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you...

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you...

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were...

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were...

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.