You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my…

Quote by Neil Simon

Topics: Neil Simon Quotes

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you....

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you....

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that,...

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that,...

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you...

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you...

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

The ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of...

The ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of...

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't...

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't...

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic...

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic...

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have...

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have...

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best...

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best...

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he...

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he...

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

I felt like writing about a time when I was probably, and I think all...

I felt like writing about a time when I was probably, and I think all...

The writer's duty is to keep on writing

The writer's duty is to keep on writing

You write with ease to show your breeding, but easy writing's curst hard reading

You write with ease to show your breeding, but easy writing's curst hard reading

You must learn an inner solitude, wherever or with whomsoever you may be. You must...

You must learn an inner solitude, wherever or with whomsoever you may be. You must...

Language achieves soul only when it's applied as a tool, used by those who imbue...

Language achieves soul only when it's applied as a tool, used by those who imbue...