The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

Quote by Ronnie Edwards

Topics: Funny Quotes, Relationships Quotes

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

I like children - fried.

I like children - fried.

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

If youth knew; if age could.

If youth knew; if age could.

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

And almost every one, when age, Disease, or sorrows strike him, Inclines to think there...

And almost every one, when age, Disease, or sorrows strike him, Inclines to think there...

Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

Any girl can look glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look...

You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut...

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut...

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and...

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and...

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper...

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.

Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you...

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you...

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones...

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones...