I dont fear death, but I sure dont like those three-footers for par.

Quote by Chi Chi

Topics: Funny Quotes, Golf Quotes

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -...

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

A widow of doubtful age will marry almost any sort of a white man.

A widow of doubtful age will marry almost any sort of a white man.

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar...

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar...

I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...

I was always too mature for my age - and not very happy. I had...

Consider what you have in the smallest chosen library: a company of the wisest and...

Consider what you have in the smallest chosen library: a company of the wisest and...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with...

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with...

Volleyball is just a more intense version of 'Don't let the balloon touch the floor.'

Volleyball is just a more intense version of 'Don't let the balloon touch the floor.'

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly...

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly...

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person...

A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person...

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big

It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get

It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get