Steve Martin quotes

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a… (read more)
An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Topics:

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy.
Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy… (read more)
Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when… (read more)
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art… (read more)
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was… (read more)
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I… (read more)
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.