Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.