Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.'
An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and… (read more)
I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.
Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.
Like a midwife, I make my living bringing new babies into the world, except that mine are new advertising campaigns.